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Submissive or Slave

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Submissive or Slave?

This is an age old discussion that surfaces every now and again, and on thinking about it, I realised that my opinion has changed since i wrote about Consensual Slavery and i would like to share my newly found views… if you first wish to read my original article on Consensual Slavery, please click here

 

i used to think that there was only one person I knew who fitted my definition of “slave” and that person is vince, owned by Mistress Chelley. Vince lives as an old guard slave – he sleeps chained to the foot of the bed, or under the stairs on a mattress with just a bucket for company.

He showers sitting at the feet of his Mistress, using the run off from her body to wash himself.

He eats when she tells him to, and he eats what she tells him to. He wears what she tells him to and he sleeps when she tells him to.

Vince is married to Mistress Chelley but even though in the eyes of the law he is her husband, in the eyes of everyone else, he is her slave. He sees himself as her slave, and though it may sound like a harsh way of life, vince is happy and contented and would not change a thing.

 

Until recently, vince was my definition of a slave, of someone living in slavery - consensual slavery we tend to call it - as a decision is made to become a slave, it is not forced upon you.

 

So i saw myself as a submissive, not a slave, and I saw pretty much everyone else as submissive too, no one fitted my definition of a slave except vince.

 

A conversation with a woman who identifies as a slave, though she calls herself a “powerful slave” has changed my opinion, not only about myself, but also about my perception and view point of what a slave is, or how to define one. She asked me what i believed i was, and why did i identify myself as a submissive rather than a slave. My initial response was that i thought i had too much to say, too much of an opinion and that i was perhaps too independent and forthright in my thinking to be a slave, and therefore i saw myself as a submissive with slavish tendencies.

 

This wonderful woman, then pointed out to me that i live in a 24/7 situation, and that my waking moments are about Master’s happiness, health and wellbeing, and that i accept the control He has over my life. And she pointed out that i have given “the whole girl” – heart, mind, body and soul to Him

She said that i serve because i need to, and that i have a slave heart.. no matter what i may appear to be like on the outside, deep inside me is this inherent need to please, to serve, to give and to obey.

 

To reinforce this new awakening of mine, i then began to look at other people i know, who identify as slaves and yet who i had, until now, thought of as submissives, comparing them if you like to vince, my “benchmark” for slavery.

I realised that my perception was very limited, that i had not been able to see beyond the label, or my definition of the label anyway. And who am i to judge?

 

In February 2011, Master and i attended South Plains Leather Fest in Dallas Texas. South Plains is a huge 4 day Master/slave conference, with workshops, classes, meetings and play parties, and it is the culmination of a year of smaller Leather festivals across America – a coming together of like minded people. One of the main events on the itinerary is the announcement of the winners of the International Master/slave contest.

 

I learnt much from attending South Plains. We met so many people who identified as Masters – both male and female because “Master” is not gender specific nearly as much over there as it is here. We also met many who identified as slaves, and not so many who said they were submissives.

 

The word submissive seemed to be used more like an adjective than a role – Dominance and submission describes what people do and how they act, Master and slave describes who people are.

 

I have observed that within the BDSM circles - as opposed to the M/s Circles in America, there are many who see a huge distinction between submissive and slave.. i have often heard comments such as “we started with a D/s relationship and have now moved to an M/s relationship.” This still confuses me somewhat as in my opinion there is not much difference, if i said that, what would change in my life – absolutely nothing! He would still have control, He would still have the final say, He would still be my Master, i would still obey.

Since my conversation with slave Caroline, i have realised that here in Australia, it appears that we do not place so much emphasis on the difference, and to be honest in my opinion, and my newly found realisations, i do not see much difference.

 

During my research for this article, i came across several good points on the difference between a slave and a submissive.

 

  • A submissive makes a choice to serve and obey each time an order is given, whereas a slave makes a choice to obey at all times, and submits to the will of the Master at all times.

 

  • A submissive accepts submission whilst a slave accepts obedience.

 

  • A submissive retains freedom of choice, whilst a slave gives that freedom of choice to the Master

 

  • A submissive focuses more on self, a slave focuses on the Master

 

  • Not all submissives become slaves, but all slaves are submissive

 

  • Slavery is the deepest layer of submission.

  

I am not sure that i agree with all of the above points but i can now see that I am indeed a slave, and that i believe i started off as a submissive.. i think over the years of being with Master, of serving Him, living with Him, adapting to His level of Dominance, i have reached a deeper level of submission – or slavery.

I know that my life is dedicated to serving my Master, making His life as easy as possible and doing His bidding.

Being a slave does not mean I am a doormat, it does not mean I do not have a voice to be heard, but it does mean that I accept His decisions, His rules and His control over my life, and it means that i serve and obey with a glad heart.

 

I do want to just make a comment about serving with a glad heart – this came up in a conversation i had with Master Jeff and His slave jana.

Master Jeff was talking about obedience, and He said that the most important element of an M/s relationship was obedience, He said it did not really matter how jana felt about doing it, as long as she did it.. both jana and i disagreed (respectfully of course!) she and i both said that serving with a glad heart is important, because though you can be obedient, if you do not have gladness in your heart, then eventually you will resent the person giving the order.. and resentment leads to relationship problems.

 

So, greetings everyone, my name is slave kim, and i serve with a glad heart!

 

kim {MJ} 2011

 

Sources of information:

B.E.S.T Slave Training

The Steel Door

Leather & Roses

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