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What is my Worth

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What is my Worth?

 

 

 

The question recently came up in discussion about the worth of a submissive or slave, and whether or not having a sub really does make a Master’s life easier. It is an interesting subject, and a challenge to find the answer.

 

What exactly is my worth to my Master and what do i bring to His life? Do i make His life easier?

I had to think about this because the answer is not as simple as it seems.

 

In material terms, i am not really worth a lot – nor did i bring much to His life. A few pieces of furniture, some personal effects, an almost empty bank account, and an old moth eaten teddy bear! i also believe i have brought Him many headaches and a lot of grey hairs!

 

In practical terms, i am worth about the same as any other good submissive or slave. Doing dishes, making breakfast and lunch, keeping the house clean, and doing the washing and any other household tasks, are things that any service submissive can do. These tasks which i perform every day, make His life easier, and so bring a sense of order to His house.

 

Master and i also run a business, and a BDSM social club, and i do much of the associated paperwork for both entities. I am worth the same as any good bookkeeper or office assistant and i bring my skills in those areas to Him, which does indeed make His life easier. It frees Him from the paperwork so that He can devote His time to the practical part of the business which is the manufacturing.

As for Chains – the social club – i bring my communication and people skills, which again frees Him to concentrate on being the Host and making sure everything runs smoothly. I look after the door, the entry fees and the enquiries etc – i do anything a good receptionist or social club secretary would do.

 

But those things are not what the essence of this article is about, the question asked has a much deeper meaning.

 

What is it that makes me different to any other submissive Master has had in the past, or has now? Why did He choose me to share His life and His world?

 

When Master and i met for the very first time, i was with another Dom, yet, there was an instant connection which we both felt, though i tried to ignore it at first.

He has told me more than once that He knew, from that very first time, that i would become His special girl, the one to share His life, the one who would be collared and owned by Him.

As our relationship deepened, it was obvious that it was more than just a Dom/sub dynamic, more than just a casual relationship based on D/s.

 

So what is it, what is the magic ingredient, and what is it that i am worth?

 

That i bring love to His life is without question, i love this Man more deeply than anyone ever in my life before. I am also secure in the knowledge that He loves me with the same intensity.

So Love is something i bring to Master’s life.

 

I am a totally upfront and honest person, i do not tell lies and i have no hidden agendas. I am passionate about things i believe in, and am willing to stand up and be counted.

So honesty, empathy and passion are things i bring to Master’s life.

 

I bring companionship, We are together almost all the time, we work from home, we socialise together, we eat and sleep together, and i adore being close to Him.

We even have fun going shopping together, it’s the simple things in life, when shared with someone, that add the depth to the relationship.

So companionship is something i bring to His life.

 

Master recently told me that i have given Him confidence in some areas of His life, We don’t perceive Doms as needing confidence, Most Doms i know are extremely confident and sure of themselves, so that comment came as a surprise to me.

Perhaps it is the encouragement i give Him, urging Him to try something new, or to face a problem, that He would prefer to ignore.

Perhaps it is also the fact that He has my unquestioning support in all facets of His life, whether it be business, pleasure, or family.

So, confidence is something i bring to Master’s life.

 

As “first girl” in Master’s family, it is my job to take some responsibility for the other submissives, to give them direction and tasks, and to field their questions to Master when i can. I am the go between, which indeed makes His life easier as it is the little things i can deal with so that He doesn’t have to bother.

However this is fraught with frustrations, as quite often i am met with mild hostility and a refusal to allow me to do my job.

When it does work properly, i bring ease of communication and smooth running of Master’s leather family to His life.

 

But there is still so much more in the answer to this question of what i am worth.

 

I feel that with my continued submission to Master, i also bring Him reassurance of His Dominance.

He sees that i learn from His guidance and teaching, He has pride in my achievements, and my growing standing within the D/s community.

He sees other submissives coming to me for support and advice, and sees my ability to help them – which comes from the lessons i learn from Him.

This brings Him the confidence and the knowledge that He is Dominant, He is Master, and He is my owner.

 

Master needs my total submission in order for His life to be complete.

The things i do each day reinforce that fact to Him and to me.

Each morning, i serve His tea on my knees and offer Him my collar to be put around my neck. This very act shows Him  that i am His submissive, offering myself to Him at the start of the day.

 

I am experienced enough to know without Him telling me, how He likes His tea, how He likes His toast, and what medications He needs each morning with breakfast.

During the day, i will come to Him with various questions and requests, all those interactions help to remind Him that He has a submissive in His life, in His house, taking care of His world – with His permission of course!

I have learnt how He likes His lunch to be presented.

I make sure His kitchen is clean when it is time for Him to cook dinner.

It is those small things which bring order to His life and make it easier.

 

I am fiercely protective of my tasks which reinforce in my own mind, my submission. If i am doing something for Master, i do not wish to be helped or to have it done for me. The task, whatever it may be, is MY service to Master, my task, my job, my submission. It fills me with pride to serve Him in this way, and i bring my devotion to His life with my service to Him.

 

At night, i will sit at Master’s feet, showing my total submission to Him.

At bed time, i will kneel in front of my Master, i say my Mantra to Him, and then kiss His feet as a reminder to myself and Him that i belong to Him, that i am in my place at His feet, on my knees.

He removes my collar for bed, and tucks me in – this feeds His nurturing side, and gives Him the satisfaction of knowing He is caring for me, just as much as i care for Him in His everyday life.

I wear His marks on my body, these are visual reminders of who i am and the commitment we share.

So i bring reassurance and reminders that i am in His life and sharing His world, and that in turn brings Him confidence, and happiness, and contentment.

 

In terms of the play side of this relationship, i can satisfy Master’s sadistic side on a day to day basis, should He wish that. Because i am always here, if He has a burning need to pull hair, or grab a nipple, i am available. In the past, He lived on His own, and so that option was not there.

I am also aware that play with me is a very different dynamic to play with His other submissives, or with anyone else.

When Master plays with others, He enjoys it, it is giving someone else a special pleasure that not many can do. This gives Him a huge buzz, and i derive much pleasure myself from watching Him work His magic on someone else.

However, deep down inside me, there is a little voice that says, “Oh yes but i get so much more!”

And i do, there is no question that our play is more intense, more personal, and usually ends in mindblowing sex.

So this is an important aspect of life which i bring to Master, the ability to satisfy His every need when we play.

I know that when we play, i am feeding His Dominance and His control of me and my life.

I always give Master the whole girl in everything i do for Him, but in play, the whole girl is so much more. i put my life in His hands, under His control, and my trust is paramount to His ability to take me to places i have never been.

So then, i bring confidence and an offering of submission, and the giving of total control to Master’s life as well.

 

So, in summing up and looking at the facts, what do i bring to Master’s life?

Practical skills to ease His burden in running a business and social club,

Housekeeping skills to make His day run smoothly and keep His house tidy.

And then there are the emotional ingredients:

Love, companionship, confidence, devotion, adoration to name a few.

With those comes the feeling of being loved and needed.

 

He has total control over me and my life, He has the whole girl in His hands, to do with as He wishes. This brings the reassurance of His Dominance, and of His need to care for me, to keep me safe.

 

To try and measure it and actually define my worth is no easy task, but i never ever take my place in His life lightly, yet i know that i am worth enough for Him to need me to stay.

 

I believe that its about missing pieces, if my life was a jigsaw puzzle, Master would  be the piece i was searching for – and i believe i am His missing piece, so i bring  wholeness to His life – i complete Him.

 

 kim (MJ) 2007

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