We often hear the comment “i
am a slave” and we see many people choosing to identify themselves as slave rather than submissive, but
are they really being true to the concept of slavery or is it just that it “sounds better” than submissive.
Is it a more romantic notion or
more for the shock value, or is that many people do not understand the word submissive – slave is a term that most are
To understand what a slave really
is, as compared to a submissive, we need to explore the actual meaning of slave or of slavery.
The Definition of slavery and of
- The state of one bound in servitude as the property of a slaveholder or household.
- One deprived of personal freedom and compelled to perform labour or services.
A slave in the real sense of the word, is held against his or her will, from the time
of capture or purchase, or from birth.
This is the definition and the knowledge
that most people associate with slavery in the vanilla world, but what about in the D/s world?
I personally know several people
who identify as slaves – however and with no disrespect intended to anyone, i can honestly say that i only know one
who really lives as a slave - who has consented to the life of consensual slavery (the way i perceive it to be) – he
is controlled every moment of his life.
He is by his owner’s side
constantly, where ever she is, that is where he must be.
He has no outside life, no job except
that of her slave, no say in what he does or does not do. She clothes him, feeds him, and is responsible for every single
aspect of his existence.
He is punished for wrongdoings,
and rewarded when he does well.
A punishment could mean to be chained
up, under the stairs for a day or two or more, with only a thin mattress and a bucket – the bucket does not get emptied
until he is released.
A reward maybe to be put into bondage.
This slave has a computer but is
not allowed to use it for anything other than family emails, maybe once every few months. I do not know any other person who
has this restriction, slave or submissive.
To me, this is true consensual slavery.
This slave entered into this relationship knowing what it would be like, he knew the conditions and the last decision he made
was to become a slave to his owner.
He will never again have to worry
about anything, he has passed control over to her, of every single aspect of his life without exception.
Every other slave or submissive
i know may talk of doing that, but in reality, there are little things that are kept, some small aspects of control.
For example, i have given control
of my life to my Master, but He does not tell me when to wash the clothes, or when to clean the toilet, i choose when those
things are done, He has given me that responsibility, so in effect i have control over certain things.
A true slave would not have even
that tiny measure of control – a slave’s life would be one of orders and obedience at every single step, in every
A few years ago, when i was still
very new to this lifestyle and before i met my current Master, i was introduced to a person who told me she was a 24/7 slave.
I was very interested in her life, and asked many questions.
It became apparent to me very early
on, that though she identified as a slave, she was in fact no more than an abused person, in a relationship with a man who
called himself her 'master' but was actually a horrible piece of work who had no idea what D/s or BDSM was about.
They did not live together as he
was married, she was not allowed to contact him at all, but was expected to be available at a moment’s notice for anything
he asked of her.
i am available for anything
my Master asks of me too, but there is a huge difference.
This so called Master, expected
my friend to work as a prostitute and hand over all her money, he expected her to have gang bangs every week and video them,
and present the tape to him, he demanded that she bring drugs back to him when she went overseas, he demanded that she find
him a virgin – and that if she could not, then she was to supply her own teenage daughter.
He would beat her – not flog
her or spank her, but beat her with fists to her face and other parts of her body. There was never any after care, nor did
he care for her welfare in any way.
The sad thing was that this person
thought that was what consensual slavery was about, she thought she had made a choice to be abused, and signed a contract
that said there was no escape.
Two examples of “consensual
slavery” they are at opposite ends of the scale, and yet there is
so much in between them. My choice of the two would be the first example, to consent to be a slave but to know without a doubt
that you are cared for and valuable to your owner.
The second example is abuse, and
The other concept of “being
a slave” is that of a sex slave, and there are many who believe that BDSM is about this type of behaviour – that
to be a slave in the bedroom is to ‘be a slave’
Many people who are searching for
slavery or D/s are in fact only searching for kinky sex or submission in the bedroom, and of course there is nothing wrong
with that either.
I believe that slavery or submission
is a personal perspective, and that there is no right or wrong way. Many would call me a slave, i live with my Master in a
24/7 situation, i am there to do His bidding, and i have no control over my life, it is in His hands.
I do however, have a say in certain
aspects of things that affect me – and my Master does listen to my point of view – the outcome may not change,
and the decision is His alone, but at least He listens.
If i was a slave in the true sense
of the word, i would not have a right to voice my opinion, or to offer any suggestions, i would simply have to do as i am
told whether or not i felt it was right.
Consensual Slavery then,
is something that many of us identify with, and we live the way we believe a slave should live – the degree of control
and freedom ultimately rests with the Owner – and of course it is His or Her perception of what a slave is, that determines
what life is like for the one who is owned.
© Kim Debron 2007
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